Where Is The Fucking Sun In Bali?

My new Mac has scratches on it because I put it in my bag the other day and it must of rubbed against something. Bought a bag for it. I didn’t wake up till nearly 11 today! Ade has been away all day at his place doing stuff. Went with Oliver to make a photo for his visa application after having brunch/lunch. We took Ade’s motorbike thank god. The traffic is horrendous and at least on a bike you can zoom past all the cars. The first photo place we went to didn’t take photographs so we ended up at Kuta Square at a place that did. Then we went to Discovery Mall where Oliver played at the Timezone place while I shopped. Wasn’t in the mood as Mum sent me a message about Telstra – the phone company in Australia who have sent me another bill that looks like they are charging me for not paying on time. Even though I paid them $230 the bill is over $700 still. It doesn’t make any sense. It’s a huge mess and I will have to call them again when I get back to Sumbawa. They are fuckers that’s for sure. There has been no sun in Bali since we arrived and that’s really pissing me off. Tomorrow I have to get off my arse and take Oliver’s visa application in. I am still depressed, unmotivated and gloomy. I feel like going out every night and drinking myself stupid and fucking anything that moves. There is one bright spot and this surprises me – Ade and I are having fairly spectacular sex. It has always been nice but just fairly ordinary… he has always seemed to want to get it over with as quickly as possible. But the last few nights it has been different. We have always liked to cuddle and we sleep wrapped together. He is the only person I can do this with. Anyway enough of that. I do not want to go back to work and the thought of that really bothers me. I am scared about what I will do. It’s like I have this cavalier attitude and I don’t give a fuck. That’s dangerous. People don’t really know me. Maybe it’s time to show them.