1. Organising the new apartment in townsite: I think I will give Oliver the upstairs space, buy a sofa bed for me to sleep on downstairs and buy some huge paintings to hang on the walls. I believe it was William Morris who said that you should always surround with things you believe to be beautiful or something similar. I can’t live in an empty shell.
2. My relationship with Ade and him coming to live in Sumbawa for a couple of months: Maybe it’s time I settled down and stopped having so much casual sex. We have pushed the limits a bit as a couple and maybe monogamy would be good for us. I am not sure I can do that but perhaps I should give it a try. It will be strange because he will be at the house some nights and I will have to sleep in townsite. Wahid has a badge so he can come into townsite. Can I keep my hands off him on the nights I have to sleep in there? All I would have to do is ask him to come in. Can I be a devoted husband again?
3. How school will be and what shit will go down there this term: Sally is leaving so that will make a big difference. Who will take her job? I am pretty sure the same stuff will continue but I seem to be impervious to all the stress, which is a good thing. Lots of expat families are going too. Am I teaching art or not?
4. Oliver gets to start at my school, which will be fantastic!
5. I can’t wait to get back into my exercise routine. I have swam once while being in Tasmania and haven’t been to the gym at all. I did swim a bit the first week in Bali.
6. I hated being in Tasmania. This time has confirmed it yet again. It was freezing cold but that’s not the reason why I dislike being there. I am not sure what it is but every time I visit I feel the same way after a few days. It has something to do with the looks on people’s faces you see in the street. It doesn’t feel like home anymore. I feel I don’t belong there. Indonesians seem to be a much happier people.
7. My sister is a prize bitch. My Mum sent her a message when we arrived and I expected her to ignore it – she did. We didn’t see her.
8. My Dad doesn’t seem that much worse. He sits and snoozes all day. He doesn’t talk. His eyes are empty.
9. I have missed Ade. I can’t wait for us to kiss and play. It’s funny – you don’t realise sometimes how good you have it and you don’t miss something till it’s taken away from you.
10. Someone smoked in the toilet on the flight as I am typing this. I wonder – will they be in big trouble when we arrive in Denpasar?
11. Still 5 days of holiday left. I intend to enjoy laying in the sun, swimming, having sex with Ade, eating out, indulging Oliver.
12. Bit of shopping to do still: Will I buy a sofa bed? I have had my eyes on the mirrors they make in Bali. I would love a big one for the bare walls in the apartment and I really do need to buy a toilet for the Yoyo’s house.
13. A few people I thought I’d catch up with in Tasmania that I didn’t bother with.
Random List Of Things I Am Thinking As I Fly Back To Indonesia
Published July 5, 2009 Uncategorized Leave a CommentHave been out the last three nights… Had dinner with a friend, Mark, one night and drank lots and probably shouldn’t have driven home. The second night I was chatting to this guy on-line and ended up driving to his house way down the river and in the middle of the bush. It took 30 minutes after leaving the city to get there. Jesse is his name. He is 25 and has just bought into the most prestigious hair salon in Launceston – The Terrace. I used to have my haircut there when I lived here. He is very incongruous. He looks like a hairdresser. His hair is like three different colours. He is tall and beautiful. He has a piercing below his lip and on his tongue. He lives on a farm, raises guinea pigs, has sheep, cattle and horses and drives a red ute. The sort of car that a farm boy would drive, not an up and coming hairdresser. We sat and chatted for ages when I arrived at his house. He is really so very nice. And the danger signal is being so comfortable with someone you have just met. I met him the third night and we had dinner and then we both went back to his place. We left the restaurant because he said to me that he just had to kiss me. I have had to say to him that we have started something that we can’t do. Or I can’t do. He knows about Ade. I told him that I love Ade. It’s funny – but I know that when you can look at someone like I have looked at him and he has looked at me that there is chemistry bubbling. I know from experience. Sex is sex – but love is something different. Wrong time – wrong place. Oh boy…
Been in Tasmania since the 27th of June. It is the 30th of June tonight and already I am climbing the walls. This is the fourth night. This always happens. I miss Indonesia after the third or fourth day. I have been out shopping a couple of times today to relieve the boredom. We have to do something tomorrow or I’ll go nuts. My Dad just sits in his chair all day and dozes. Mum still does stuff but while she is in the house she just watches us. It drives me nuts. There’s been nothing happening of a night either. Tonight I will go out and have dinner with a friend. No sex since Adelaide….HELP!!!!!
We arrived in Adelaide about 8 am in the morning. Had to wait around until nearly 3 pm in the afternoon before we could get into the room. We walked around and did some shopping and had lunch. The room was nice with a separate bedroom. Much better value for money that the Hyatt in Perth. We went to Meegan’s house and had dinner. She was a mum in Sumbawa a long time ago. It was interesting to see how her kids have grown up. They live in a stunning house close to the city. Later on met a guy called Josh who is in his final year of studying medicine. He was sweet. Next day we had a leisurely breakfast and did some more shopping. Found the white trousers I was looking for and bought five pairs of Calvin Klein underpants. Got a taxi to the airport and flew to Melbourne. From Melbourne to Launceston then picked up the rental car and drove to Mum and Dad’s. Mum sort of pretended it was a surprise. Slept in late the next morning. Launceston is so boring though. I have only been here two nights and I am ready to go back to Indonesia. Have found out that I have been allocated a single apartment and I emailed my boss and telling him that I expected Oliver to start school on the first day of term. He replied that yes he would, so that’s all organised. Ade has said he wants to come back to Sumbawa with us. Not sure how I feel about that. I am going to have to spend at least two or three nights in the apartment so he would be at Yoyo’s by himself. A friend who teaches with me wants to rent out Yoyo’s one night a week so having Ade there wouldn’t work. He said something about coming for 2 months. We’ll see. Supposed to be catching up with a friend for dinner tomorrow evening…
The stay on the houseboat was interesting. It was a bit small and untidy for me. Two nights with my cousin was enough to catch up. Drank far too much red wine the first night. I seem to be drinking even more now than I was in Sumbawa – which is a worry. Spent the night in Perth at the Hyatt. I needed some space. I needed sex too. Four nights without it is my longest time for ages. It was a very expensive room and for the money I expected more from a hotel of this calibre. Yeah I know I am spoilt. But when you pay $300 in Indonesia for a room – it’s usually pretty swish. Breakfast was another 50 bucks as well. After Oliver went to sleep I met this guy Robert who strangely enough is from Indonesia. We chatted in the lobby but he didn’t do much for me so that was it. Later on Alan came. We met in the lobby. He was nice. Shaved head, big brown eyes with mixed parentage. He spoke English with a French accent as his father was from Mauritius. That was a turn on. We played in the bathroom but it was quite disappointing which is a shame. He even brought poppers with him. We got a taxi to the train the next morning. Boarded the train at about 11.30 then left at 11.55. The train was quite luxurious. Our cabin was small with it’s own minuscule bathroom. It was very hot though. They seemed to have the heaters turned up full blast. The food was excellent. Tender lamb fillets were served as a choice with crunchy vegetables. Most of the people in our section of the train were over 60 or retired I would say. Oliver is the only child and I would be the youngest adult. I said the waiter about how nice the vegetables were – they were fresh and crunchy. She commented back that people complain because they have to chew them – she was joking about the age of the passengers. We did a bus tour of Kalgoorlie. Big mistake. It was too late. We couldn’t see much out of the bus. We just drove around and couldn’t get off the bus to take pictures. If I had of known how long the train stopped I would have walked up the street and taken some night shots of the quite interesting buildings I saw from the bus window. God I am so horny! It has been so long since I actually jerked off alone that an attempt with the door locked in the tiny shower this was a dismal failure. I have arranged to meet this guy in Adelaide but I get the feeling that won’t come off as he is not too keen to come to the hotel later in the evening. I have arranged to meet a friend in Adelaide and have dinner at her house at 7. I can’t race off from there after just an hour. The prospects in Tasmania will be even less based on my previous visits. It’s so easy to find people to have sex with in Indonesia. I know for sure that’s one of the reasons I love living there so much. Ade and I had a big fight in Bali before I left and I haven’t fully processed that incident and its implications. He left the villa to meet another guy and did not return for the evening. We made up again the next day but during the evening when he was away I sort or began to relish the idea of total freedom.
Bali is wonderful. I feel so relaxed it’s great. The place where we are staying is nice. The pool is beautiful. The rooms are small but there is a little kitchen and huge open air bathroom with big tub and separate shower. They should have reduced the bathroom area and made the rooms bigger – but it’s an OK place. I sleep late and take a light breakfast. Oliver and I spend two or three hours at the pool. I swim 50 laps of the pool here, which is probably more than the townsite one. I went out one night by myself and met this guy. I actually drove my car to his place after drinking quite a bit. The roads were quite deserted at the time, which was probably 1.30 in the morning. I have eaten sashimi and sushi two days since being here. Am really looking forward to going to Perth and taking the train trip across the Nullarbor Desert too. Wahid left on Monday morning and his wife has had a baby boy. Oliver and I will go shopping tomorrow and buy some stuff for his baby. Ade had a job interview today but for a job that pays one million rupiah a month. That’s nothing. I wouldn’t even get out of bed for that. Might go out tonight to the bars and have a bit of casual sex…
In Bali on holiday at last. Thirteen hours it took to drive here, which is a fast trip. On both the ferries we almost drove straight on as we arrived. We did wait outside the port in Bali for about an hour I think before going in. I was so tired I don’t remember, as I didn’t get any sleep on the ferry to Bali because there were no cabins. This young guy looked like he was trying to pick me up too. There are lots of seats you can lay on. He kept turning up where I was. He laid down on a seat next to me and was displaying himself and making eye contact. Bit hard to do anything though so I sort of ignored it. Ade and I went out last night and got a bit drunk. The bars were really crowded. Ade’s friends didn’t turn up. We drove my car home and went to bed. Wahid was looking after Oliver. All three of us ended up in bed having a play. Mmmmmm interesting. It was nice. Wahid left this morning for Lombok, as his wife is about to have a baby and he received a message that she had gone to the hospital so the baby will arrive soon.
Fucking The Gardener Or Sometimes He Fucks Me…
Published June 10, 2009 Uncategorized Leave a CommentI am so fucking glad I will be on holiday in two days… I know Bruce will be able to relate to this. (Hey man I am so glad you are here still though). I know I have said I don’t want to talk about school anymore but this place is so fucking fucked it’s unbelievable. When I think back to my schools in Australia and how things were there – it is like comparing really stinky dog shit and the most exquisite diamond.
Every day there seems to be filled with incredulous events that prompts the scant professional people in the place to say, “What the fuck is going on?”
My gardener left his motor-bike in Lombok so didn’t come to my house to do my garden when he was supposed to. Last night he messaged me asking could he come and stay so he could do my garden today. It’s not the garden he really is concerned about. He wanted to do me. I had already had a visitor – then he arrived. He has always been worried about my maid knowing he is doing it with me. He left his sandals inside the front door last night. He was asleep in my bed when she arrived this morning and he thought she didn’t know he was here. She would of seen his sandals…
1. Losing control of my bowels in public.
2. Losing my wallet or Blackberry
3. My parents being dead.
4. Dying because I don’t believe in God or have a religion for comfort and maybe I am wrong but when I die that’s the end. I don’t exist anymore.
5. Having no money and having to sleep under a bridge or in the open because there is nowhere else.
6. Oliver hating me.
7. How some people can live like they do and not give a shit.
8. Dishonesty.
9. Swimming in the sea, sharks and plane crashes.
10. Bad clothes and people who don’t care about how they look.
(Ok – so maybe I am a little bit superficial, but some of these are IMPORTANT universal tenets for a good life)
I had a boozy evening last night. Some of the staff came to my house for drinks and it was very pleasant. After they left I cleaned up a bit and began my evenings entertainment. Three different people – three different secenarios. I think I went to sleep around two in the morning. This worries me a bit because maybe I am becoming addicted to my sexual drive and meeting that need is controlling my life. And David Carradine died while wanking and choking. How bizzare. It seems like the practise known as asphyxiophilia, autoerotic asphyxia, scarfing – is quite popular among certain men and quite a few die as the result. Some survive into old age like Mr Carradine obviously. It’s sad that not only do you die, but the whole world will remember you for the way you ended up meeting your demise. Naked and jerking off hanging in a wardrobe. Michael Hutchence did it too…
